Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Dear Anonymous

May I call you dear Anon?

I am flattered by your attention --
or your clever program's efforts

but I just want to say --

I have no need for fashionable sheepskin slippers-to-be-worn-on-the-street
I can't use vi*gra as I am not appropriately equipped
I don't have a payday so such loans are not helpful


You are very thoughtful offering to increase my traffic!
(I worked for years to combat congestion and manage road demand)

I am pleased your university course is going well
is comprehension a subject you study?
and the blogposts of tree pictures that you find so informative --
I'd worry about being an electrician too

I must be a disappointment, my friend Anon
I wish you were a bit more disappointed in fact

but thanks for the attention, sweet Anon



Marylinn Kelly said...

And all the links that need to be labeled with skull and crossbones. There is so much I enjoy about connections established via the internet, but I wish you Anons would just get lives and leave me alone. I hope someone sees this and takes it to heart. Likelihood of that: 0. xo

Maggie said...

Yeah, I don't intend to buy any Uggs. Ugh. : )

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Joan said...

My dear, are you ever coming back?

(Sorry about the plaintive whine)

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I have been missing you, Happy to be back seeing you. Where have you been? Or where have I been? I've missed you.

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I’m very excited to serve you…

Frankly, I wouldn't be tooo worried about what the whorizontal world thot about me, dear; I'd be much more concerned about what Jesus shall say at our General Judgment. You may not like me now, yet, I’m not out to please you. Lemme wanna gonna tella youse Who (grrr - New Joisey accent):

Greeting, earthling. Not sure if we're on the same page if you saw what I saw. Because I was an actual NDE on the outskirts of the Great Beyond at 15 yet wasn’t allowed in, lemme share with you what I actually know Seventh-Heaven’s Big-Bang’s gonna be like for us if ya believe/accept: meet this ultra-bombastic, ex-mortal-Upstairs for the most extra-blatant, catch-22-excitotoxxins, guhroovaliciousnessly delicious, pleasure-beyond-measure, Ultra-Reality-Firepower-Addiction in the Great Beyond for a BIG-ol, kick-ass, party-hardy, robust-N-risqué, eternal-real-McCoy-warp-drive you DO NOT wanna miss the sink-your-teeth-in-the-rrrock’nNsmmmokin’-hot-deal: PLEASE KEEP HANDS/FEET INSIDE THE WIDE UNTIL WE MADE A CIRCUMFERENCE OF the OUTSTANDING, NEVER-ENDING, THRILLIONTH-RED-MARKER-POSSIBILITIES!!! Puh-leeeze meet me Upstairs. Do that for us. Cya soon, girl…

Anonymous said...

I particularly enjoy the comments from Anon!

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