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It is the season of farewells here in Exile-land. The schools all follow the northern hemisphere curricula, so end-of-school-year brings end of assignment to lots of folk, not limited to the Education Sector. Marius and I attended farewell parties on Thursday and Friday nights, and have two more scheduled for early next week.
I have fought a grizzly bear,
Tracked a cobra to its lair,
Killed a crocodile who dared to cross my path;
I almost expected a pith-helmet.
I felt quite frustrated with myself. On the one hand I felt somewhat in awe of her skills, her evident physical power and her confidence to engage in the world in such a forthright manner, and on the other hand I was repelled by something.
Maybe I was looking for some sense of reflection or awareness of the inner life of some of the people she had encountered along the way. Perhaps I was picking up something of the colonial attitude (if that is what is?) of the world being there for the picking and hang the consequences. I hope I am not being a snob: I have nothing to be snobbish about.
The writer in me was thinking what a great source of story ideas while the poet in me was thinking there is no emotional life being offered, there is no one at home. And now that I have got here, I think I understand what my difficulty was: the role of superwoman was so ingrained I had no sense of the true person out of costume.
When I put aside my own sense of inadequacy I feel compassion wondering what could have made her so apparently tough and resilient, and what pain is she burying in herself? Then again, perhaps I am wrong and she is superwoman all the way through to her spine.
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4 comments:
People like that make me curl up in my shell and feel completely worthless. I like Eleanor Roosevelt's advice - 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent' - I commend that sentiment but cannot follow it.
I think you are compassionate to look for some evidence of soul in such people. Of course, it must be there, but it's not much fun being talked AT . . .
Wow. Are you sure she wasn't channeling Isak Dinesen? The voice of Empire wouldn't pause for reflection, but I admire your efforts to give her a soul; I'm sure that at some point she had one...
A mate once remarked of a person such as that: "If he has done everything he says he's done, he must be a thousand years old!"
I love your travel though your impressions of this highly impressionable woman...your surface views and your deeper delve as to what is behind who she is, your final compassion and yet wonder.
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